A phone call yesterday from a friend a haven’t seen for a while, and her mention of a “health scare”…I didn’t disclose because she had her own things to talk through, but I have just been through a bit of a *health scare* myself.

Had a mammogram a few weeks back. I have been on yearly mammograms for almost 15 years, so I don’t think too much about them these days (although I still think that the best description of a mammogram is…take all your clothes off your top half, grab a breast, open the fridge and put your breast in, close the fridge door). So I was a little taken aback when I got a phone call on Wednesday afternoon to say that ACT BreastScreen wanted me back for further testing. I made an appointment for the following day and was warned that I would probably be there for 4 hours.

This sort of thing freaks me out as it would anyone, but with a familial history of breast cancer, and in fact, just cancer – I was just in a daze on Thursday. I ended up spending 7 hours in at BreastScreen – having an interview and examination, followed by more mammograms – different ones focusing on the left breast (and specifically the 11 o’clock area), ultrasound followed by a consultation with the surgeon (who flies in on Thursdays for the day from Sydney), and finally a fine needle aspiration (done by a pathologist who came over from Canberra Hospital) to get a sample of the cells. With results to come this morning.

Well everything is fine. Fatty cells that have formed a lump…no idea why. Best be safe. Oh yes.

For Thursdays are ‘call back’ days at BreastScreen in Civic. The day of the week when the women there are all special, for we have all been called back for further testing. All vulnerable. Scared. Freaking out quietly. Or not so quietly. And I ended up being there the longest, so I was thinking the worst.

I usually like to wear my heart on my sleeve and tell it as it is to those around me. But in this case I chose to really only tell a few people – Carl and the children, my sister and a few close friends (and a couple of people who just sensed a vibe). I didn’t want people getting upset for me, it was too early, and it takes so much energy explaining and worrying about people’s feelings. My biggest, biggest fear was telling my parents – I just didn’t want them to go through another nightmare cancer time….so for now – they are safe.

So if I have been a bit distant, sad, preoccupied or just the same (I am pretty good at seeming normal/happy) that’s why…

And I think of those today who have had a horrid prognosis of any sort…and I send you my love and light.

And can I say how beautiful, professional and caring all the BreastScreen staff were? I used to think midwives were the special ones, but I reckon it’s a lot of health professionals…



a few things…

  • the PIN number to my debit card. I was at Woolies the other day and just had a mental blank. Got the card out and it was like I never ever had a PIN number. I don’t have it recorded anywhere. I know there is a 7 in it, but apart from that…no clue. Will have to rectify this! Luckily I remembered my PIN for my credit card!
  • Jack  - Brazil is so very far away. I hear from him every so often, usually in response to emails I have forwarded on to him…you know interesting mathematics and all. And there are photos on Facebook so I know vaguely where he is. And I miss the lovely Christina – Jack’s girlfriend.
  • time with Miss Iz. I realise with Hannah here (her friend from NZ) that I need to reconnect with her more…so taking positive steps in that direction
  • sun! So have changed my work hours a little. I’m not walking in the morning because it’s too cold and dark, so starting work at 8, working till 4 and then trying to make the most of the hour before it gets dark.
Sun at the end of the street this morning. Riding to work when it's zero degrees!

Sun at the end of the street this morning. Riding to work when it’s zero degrees!

Sun setting from the deck

Sun setting from the deck

Not completely sure how to captive the magic and beauty of bare trees and bushes. Just love. I reckon I could do my photography masters on it - topic chosen :)

Bit too much really going on to blog every day, even though I was making great progress – I am the first to admit that the quality was not there…

There are big things looming, and although I am reasonably OK with it all..there is just so much to do.

Easy to hide – I hibernated yesterday because it was just cold and unpleasant. After going to the farmer’s markets in the morning it really was just the very best of days to be inside.

Today was a different day..again inside, but outside first to get inside. We went to Strathnairn for the very first time. Who knew this place existed? It kind of reminded me of Cuppacumbalong - which used to be a lovely home/gallery near Tharwa. Long since closed and now a farmstay!! Strathnairn was lovely and Jo’s ceramics were just the best – beautiful, quite delicate, almost ethereal – and I say that in spite of the fact that she was the only artist I knew in the Claybodies exhibition.

Then onto the National Museum of Australia – a place I have more than just a passing interest in..as I did PD there when at uni and thinking that the library there would be a most excellent place to work – in the end there were just no opportunities… I hadn’t been to the permanent exhibition for a long time, and really enjoyed it…didn’t even get to bark artists exhibition…although I have heard great things.

so a really lovely day out n about…

Been an interesting day.
Gotta say dismayed by the Peter Greste (and the two other journalists) decision.
Miserable weather and I got soaked even on my short ride home this evening.
Some big projects at work. And possibly a decision or proposal about something….
Carl is away interstate for the evening and Jack seems far away (well he is!), and Iz is caught up with the news that the cafe she works in has a new owner…as of tomorrow.
So admit to hiding under a blanket, drinking Bengal Spice tea, knitting a little and thinking of bed.
But….in the interests of an (admittedly pathetic) quick post – I would love suggestions for my book choice for August.
I want either a classic (Russian – I think maybe Chekov?) or an modern Australian novel, so go! Or something else entirely….

Promise to answer all suggestions.

Gotta go now as hope to be up early to watch Socceroos – delayed at 6am. Can’t do 2am. I need to be articulate tomoz.

It’s all happening.

Carl may be out of work as quickly as mid July, so he is doing lots of preparation before becoming a *sole trader*.

Meanwhile we’ve been adding reservations to our trip…# still undecided :)

We don’t want to book everything, but we have a dropbox doc with a rough itinerary with flights and the fixed events – like the Catalonia Rally. Accommodation that we still need to look at is highlighted in yellow, and we remove the highlights when we have sorted out the accommodation.

I can’t remember what I have already said we have booked (and I know I could check past posts), but so far we have booked Hong Kong, the first 4 nights in Istanbul, 10 nights in Bloomsbury, 4 nights in Bath and 4 nights in Barcelona.

airbnb is just great, such an amazing resource. Doing a lot of planning through there. That and just googling stuff and flicking through library lonely planets and rough guides – my dreams are just chock full of travel destinations these days.

so here’s hoping your dreams are sweet also xx

PS don’t fret – although lots is planned, there is still so much time and opportunity for adventure and spontaneity…

Love the solstice, both summer and winter.
For each day now will be imperceptibly longer.
Short post for the shortest day.

Rocks- cairn- on a track on Mt Ainslie

Rocks- cairn- on a track on Mt Ainslie

no – not rocks…



or reading…

or even nice red things…

red cup n saucer

red cup n saucer

But news just this afternoon that Carl’s voluntary redundancy has been accepted…is it a moot point that his whole area was abolished and he really had no choice??

Late last year - Elvis (Carl) will be leaving his work building soon!

Late last year – Elvis (Carl) will be leaving his work building soon!

A huge change, but one we are both viewing in a positive light.
Onwards, upwards – we have each other and dreams, oh and plans!



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