A slight sense of loss

10Jun12

Apologies of you have heard this one before …

but yes, a slight sense of loss…now that the children are older.

Mr J is 19 and in his first year of uni. Living a home but rarely here.

Ms I in year 11, and like J often not at home or just busy being out and sociable and having fun.

I still remember long days when the children were young and some days it was hard work. Disturbed sleep, a different way of living that involved trips to the park, regular mealtimes and holidays taken in school holidays.

And now, quite often C and I find ourselves childless, with time, space that we haven’t always had.

I loved/love being a parent. I came late-ish to the whole thing really. I didn’t especially want children in my 20s, was probably too selfish anyway. Having my first at 32 was a shock I will admit. A fantastic, wonderful, gobsmacking shock, but one that I embraced, especially after the second one at 34! I definitely grew to relax more, take life one day at a time. And watching them grow from babies into toddlers, then children and now adults has been just wonderful.

So, the sense of loss is quite understandable really.

They will always be my children.

I am so proud of them.

I am excited about life ahead, for me, C and our children.

It’s just different these days. That’s it. Not loss. Different.

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