It’s been like….well…forever….
What to say when there is so much to say?
I am going to try and spend 15 minutes a day just writing here. Not a New Year’s resolution as such, because I would just like to make it a habit and it become a part of my life….probably more an online journal.
Still very much grieving, and I don’t want to become some sort of pathetic bore. I don’t think I am. I just feel shaped and bruised and so very tired by the last year. I miss Jeremy in ways I didn’t think would happen. I really have the most wonderful group of friends, family and colleagues. People just ‘know’ and offer support and light and love in so many ways.
I am so very grateful.
I admit that I wasn’t expecting to be so affected by Jeremy’s death. I don’t know why. Possibly because we haven’t lived together for at least 35 years. I thought that would matter. I have lived without him for ages…..so why not now?
Words of comfort from a friend who lost their sibling last year… “I know xxxx would want me to make the most out of my life, so I’m going to….”
And that is so very true. I know Jeremy wanted us all to go on, to mourn yes of course…..but to live and live happy, fulfilling, full lives. And that’s what I want to do. I love and miss Jeremy so very much. That does not change. But I know he wanted us all to live on…..
Another recent message from a friend….”sit softly with your memories”…this sent on Christmas Day.
Filed under: Family | 1 Comment
Tags: future, Jeremy, state of mind