With autumn comes……


I’m in Sydney for work. Three days at the Educause conference and I am looking forward to the program and catching up with some people.
I took advantage of this all and flew up early this morning and did a few extra things.
I spend a couple of hours at a rooftop garden wake for my friend Laura’s mum. That was really nice. Hearing other people’s stories about Natalie and catching up with friends I haven’t seen for a bit. Being in the sun on a pretty spectacular Sydney autumn day.
I then went over to see Jem and Max. Amelia, Jem’s youngest child was 21 last weekend, so I got around to his flat about 3pm to see Jem and Max, Amelia, mum and dad, Sophie and Mike, Tim and Georgie. We had cake and coffee (they had all had a scrummy lunch together) and it was just lovely.
At the end we took lots of photos. Jem and the kids, mum and dad and Jem, Jem and Max. It was lovely, but I don’t know. I just feel sad and felt sad then. Will this be the last birthday for Amelia that we celebrate all together? I know no-one can say, but will all occasions now be marked with this sadness, this thought? And i think we all thought similar things today. It was hard.
It is probably also a combination of these thoughts and just the hint of autumn in the air and the start of shorter days that is making me morose.

One hour later (and after talking to Carl). I guess there will be lots of these occasions, and I should be thankful for each and every one of them. After all, Carl’s dad died so suddenly that the last time we said goodbye as we left Lez and Margaret’s house – we didn’t know that that would be the last time. That is so very true.


4 Responses to “With autumn comes……”

  1. 1 CW

    Thanks for this, Kate.

    It’s weird, isn’t it, that in reality we never know when the “last time” is going to be. I think having a major illness like this to deal with just brings things into focus and forces us to be thankful for the good times.

    With illness in my family too, I have been trying to reflect on the Buddhist “mindfulness of death” practice. It’s tough but does put things into perspective…

    • 2 strawberriesofintegrity

      Thank you Con.
      I must look into the ‘mindfulness of death’
      I am also aware that you too are going through illness in your family.
      Thank you so much for reading and sharing and being x

  2. I don’t know how you get past that morose feeling Kate. I wish I’d known that the last time I saw my Mum was going to be the last time… but we rarely know. As you said, when you left Carl’s dad, you didn’t know. And while you’re pretty sure you won’t all see Amelia’s 40th… who knows? Indeed, you know I hate saying it, lest it occur, but we might all be struck by some tragedy and not see out the week! [Insert insightful comment about world tragedies here… not trying to be flippant, but what can you say about Japan or Christchurch and lives cut short that we haven’t already felt?]

    “With Autumn comes…” is such a wonderful title. Of course, it is the season for being a little morose. When the leaves fall and the seasons change it feels like a little death. But it’s also the season for empty laundry baskets (the weather here has been simply stunning!) and lovely lunchtimes (I sat in the rose garden today – twice!). I get a sense of the world turning in Autumn… and I guess we just don’t know what will be around the corner.

    • 4 strawberriesofintegrity

      Thank you Rachael. What wonderful, insightful friends I have.
      I love you thinking that in autumn you get a sense of the world turning. That is just beautiful.
      Thanks x

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