I like to be doing things, I like to be planning things… but at the moment I feel like I’m treading water (and it’s deep water aqua-aerobics treading water, so there is no touching the bottom for a break!)
What I mean is I just feel like I’m in limbo, in a holding pattern (any other cliches spring to mind?)
Not helped by having a head cold – I hate how colds mess with your brain- I am so fuzzy and distracted!
Anyway- treading water- why?
Well I feel like we are just maintaining a life at present – there are a whole lot of things about to happen, but just not happening yet.
House – in with planning – once approved we probably have a couple of weeks in which to find a house and move 15 years worth of belongings out! So huge, big times ahead. We’ve been kinda packing things up over the last six months – the chooks are having a break down the South coast, and we’ll be having a massive garage sale soonish. Our old kitchen is going to friends & other bits and pieces will be recycled. But a lot of it has to happen last minute, so although nothing really happening now… it’s exhausting, terrifying and exciting to think about what will come.
Visually some parts of the house are packed up – lots of books, the china cabinet – so that makes it all feel slightly unsettling and transient as well…
I’ve only had a couple of leave days since January and really feel the need for a break – but alas won’t be having one for a while. The plan is – once the house plans are approved and we have to be out – I’ll take a week’s leave and pack like a dervish!
It’s all OK- it’s just usually I like to have a holiday planned and to look forward to – and I know, I know – a house is a big thing to look forward to- but sometimes it’s too big and too distant to get exited over.
Must be mid-year, mid-winter blues.
to look forward to –
- I go to Melbourne for a week at the end of August for work/training,
- planning 12 year old daughter’s trip to New Zealand in October,
- once we have moved into temporary accommodation we have promised ourselves a break somewhere, anywhere!
- theatre in Sept- seeing Steven Berkoff in One Man
- – ooooh and the house!
oh and another thing- have you got any idea how hard it is to clean and maintain a house that soon won’t exist – it really does your brain in – “ooh, is this the last time I’ll clean this bathroom?….” (apologies if you’ve heard that before).
Kx – photo below is hardly exciting but gives you an idea.
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Tags: me, state of mind